January 28, 2020

January 28, 2020

                Everything seemed to be conspiring against my plans to start working out. I joined Planet Fitness a month ago online for the new gym opening a couple blocks away. It was still under construction and didn’t open until the end of the first week of January. I left the state the same day it opened. After a physically and emotionally stressful five-day trip, my neck was so kinked it gave me headaches that I couldn’t get rid of. And then I was tired. I’m working a lot. And then I didn’t want to go by myself. I hate going into a new place and feeling out of place and foolish because I don’t know the drill and I’m sure everyone else there does.

                I finally made an appointment for new member orientation and asked Kayla to go with me. At the orientation the guide gave quick instructions on how to use a bunch of machines. Maybe I’ll try them someday. Kayla said she pretty much always does the elliptical so I decided to try that with her. I got my earbuds in and set Spotify to Sweatin’ to the Oldies. I went through all my free song skips in the first minute. Note – need a new workout playlist. Kayla showed me how to use the elliptical and away we went.

                Within in the first minute, I knew I wasn’t going to live through this. How embarrassing though, to quit within one minute, before Kayla even broke a sweat on the machine next to me. I turned on the fan, hoping that would help. I took a 10-15 second break every minute for five minutes. I realized if I kept going, I’d probably pass out, which would be even more embarrassing. I stopped the machine and told Kayla I was going to try the treadmill.

                As I stepped off the elliptical, I found that my legs no longer worked. I was able to cling to the elliptical machine to steady myself while I figured out what to do. The treadmill was only about six feet behind me. So, about six steps was all I needed to take. I hoped I would make it. I let go of the elliptical and took my first baby steps toward the treadmill. I mean, I literally looked like a one-year-old taking their first steps. My legs might buckle under me at any moment. Eighteen tiny steps later - I made it.  

                I climbed on the treadmill. That 6-inch step felt like six feet. I was already drenched in sweat. Thank-you-sweet-baby-Jesus for deodorant. I took a swig of my water and turned on the machine. It was set at a leisurely stroll speed. I sped it up slowly to a brisk walk with a long-ish stride. Long for my short legs anyways. My heart rate climbed to 150. I don’t know what it’s supposed to be. I walked the equivalent of a half a mile. It took me about 15 minutes.

                My legs felt like Jell-O. I still had to be able to get to the locker room to collect my keys. Or better yet, I decided to go try out the hydro-massage chair in the spa. Now that was a long and trepid walk. I scanned my bar code in from my phone screen and signed up for a massage. It was probably another 100 steps to the spa. 

                I lay down in the hydro-massage chair and pushed the start button on the screen. A blast of water spray hit the backs of my ankles, with only a thin layer of chair between it and my skin. It slowly moved its way up my body. The speakers blasted ocean wave sounds throughout the darkened room. It sounded as if I were standing in a rough surf in a storm. I inserted my ear buds and set it to my usual country oldies play list. I didn’t skip any songs. I upped the water pressure to 2. I started to relax and cool down. I pressed 3. Nice. 4. It started to feel like I was being poked by a bunch of tiny needles. Back to 3. Okay. I can do this. I’ll come back tomorrow.